November 10th

On Thursday November 10^th, 2011 I got a text from my mother here in Haiti asking me to call her. I immediately knew something was wrong but had no clue what it was. When I called her she told me that my father had died. While we were on the phone I didn’t know what to think and was in total shock until I got off the phone. And then it hit me that I didn’t have a father anymore. Even though we were not close he was still my father and I loved and cared about him.

Over the next few days I had a lot of ups and downs with my emotions but still pushing through and doing ministry. In my mind there was no way to get home for the funeral so I just put it out of my mind as an option. I though of the verse in the bible which said let the dead bury the dead (Luke 9:60) and that was what God wanted me to do. But then Saturday as I was talking to Ryan he asked me if I was going to go home for the funeral. I told him it was not going to possible because they thought the funeral would be on Sunday which was the next day and I didn’t have the finances to get there. Ryan told me don’t worry about the money God would provide that and just to find out when the funeral was going to be.

Thirty minutes later I found out due to some circumstances the funeral would not be until Tuesday. I told Ryan and he said let me work on this and see what we can do. Ryan sent out an email and within an hour later plans were in motion to get me home. The biggest obstacle was to figure out the travel details but when God is in control it really is not as big as we think it is. Ryan and a few others from the states worked on it all day and we finally had everything figured out by 11pm that night. I was going home.

Now at this point I began to have many different emotions knowing I was going to have to face this head on. It was easier to deal with when I thought there was no chance I was going to make it home. I think God sent me home so there would be closure and so I wouldnt have any regrets with not going and staying in Haiti.

It took me two and a half days to get to Michigan and when I did I had only two hours till I had to be at the viewing and I still needed to go buy something to wear because I didn't have anything with me in Haiti to wear at a funeral. While I was at the funeral even though I saw my father in a casket it didn't feel real. It was almost like I was dreaming. During my time home I felt emotionless most of the time when it came to talking about or thinking about my father. I felt heartless and thought something must be wrong with me.

As I started back to Haiti I was excited to get back and see the children and continue with what God called me out here to do. But when I got back things were not as easy as I thought. There have been a lot of ups and downs with my emotions and coming to the realization that he really did die and I will never see him again.

Through this time here in Haiti God has reminded me that in India last december he told me He wanted to show me who he is as a father. Seeing God as a father has always been hard because I have compared God as Father with my earthly father who was nothing like God. There was always fear that I would get hurt if I allowed God to be my father because that is all I ever knew.

The Sunday before I found out that my father died I was planning on going to church with my my friend but he left early without me. It was raining out and he had the chance to get a ride so he took it without letting me know so he would not be totally wet when he preached that morning. It hurt me more than it should have and I didn't understand it at all so I went and spent time with God asking why I was so hurt by it. When I asked I thought about my earthly father and how growing up I had felt abandoned by him a lot. He would say we would go somewhere together and then it never happened. And he would only call around Christmas and my B-day to see me even though growing up we never lived more the ten miles apart. Then I asked God why I though about my father at this point and at that moment I though about the second half of the verse in Hebrews 13:5 which says “I will never leave you or foresake you”.

I see how that Sunday God was preparing me for that week when I would find out that my father had died. I thank God that He loves me so much that He reminded me of that verse just days before.

I know there are a lot of us who have people or family in our lives that don't know the Lord or there could be issuse you need to take care of with someone. I encourage you not to wait any longer. Reach out and show them the love you desire to receive from others. When you do this I pray that you will do it out of love not just obligation and in doing this I also pray that you dont expect anything back because the other person quite possibly might not be ready to receive the love you give. In doing this you will have no regrets with that person if they die. For we do not know what the future holds but we can know who holds the future. Lets take it one day at a time and love others because we dont know if tommorrow will come (Matthew 6:24). Don't put it off one more day, let's listen and step out in faith today.

Just this week my roommate shared a verse with me that I believe will contine to be a comfort to me for quite some time and I pray that it does the same for you.

Romans 15:13

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope bye the power of the Holy Spirit.

I have started going to the hospital almost everyday with Anissa to the baby ward to help her hand out bananas to all the babies and mothers, if there is enough.  My heart is starting to break for that place. Its heart wrenching to see the children sick and helpless, some of whom have parents with them, but there are many more who have been left there abandoned.

There is this one little guy (we call him Carter when we talk about him) who we found out this last week that his mother has abandoned him and went to Port A Prince. I cant even imagine how you could leave your child alone in a bed at the hospital with no one to comfort or hold him when he is sick. Every time we go we make sure we give him love and attention.  Sometimes he smiles but other times he is not feeling well and you can barley get a smirk out of him.  Though, it's all worth it to see that little guy smile.  The warmth and joy felt in my heart is indescribable. Carter is just looking for attention and love, and it's so hard to leave him because he just clings to us and cries when we leave him all alone in that bed. All that he wants is someone to love him and care for him.

God brought me back to a scripture that I have been reading a lot lately and reminded me that he knew and allowed it to happen even if we don't understand.

Psalm 139:13-16

 ¹³ For you created my inmost being;
   you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
¹⁴ I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
   your works are wonderful,
   I know that full well.
¹⁵ My frame was not hidden from you
   when I was made in the secret place,
   when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
¹⁶ Your eyes saw my unformed body;
   all the days ordained for me were written in your book
   before one of them came to be.

I'm sure at some point most of us have wondered why God allows someone to be sick their entire life. We have probably asked God why He would allow someone to suffer when we ask, "wouldn't it have been better for then to not have been born?" I started to feel like this for this little one who has been abandoned. But God reminded me that He created every single cell in our mothers womb and everything he made is wonderful. Even though we might not understand we should be praising Him that He loved us enough to give us life. God also knew us and saw every part of us before we were even formed. All of our days were planned for us before we were even one day old. He knew the good and the bad would happen in our lives and the things we would choose to do that would hurt Him but he still chose to give us life. 

Instead of wondering "Why" lets thank him for what He did. We are all sinners but because of His love for us He came to earth and died on the cross so that we could have eternal life with Him in forever. John 3:16-17


I myself am also thankful that God has given me life and allowed me to come to Haiti and be able to share His love to these children through the simplest things like a smile or just holding a child who needs the love and attention.  

Reunited and it feels so GOOD

So we have been in Haiti and things are going great. We have had the chance to get out and explore the town these last 2 weeks to see where everything is. 

On the second day here in Jeremie, Haiti we went out as a group to walk around the town. As we were walking a big part of me wanted to go to the point where this little boy that God used to call me here lives, but there was also a part of me that was afraid to go because there was a chance he had gotten colera and died  because the point is where it broke out the worst. As we walked through town  the group ended up heading towards the point which was natural for our group because it is one of the main places we would go on all of our two-week trips. As we were walking i was looking at the house where he lived but didnt see him, then all of a sudden he came from nowhere and was there and ran to me for a hug!!! I was so happy to see him and wanted to be able to focus on him which was hard because there are always so many kids that want your attention. It was great to see how he was not as shy as he had been a year and a half ago when we first were there,  and that he remembered our group and was so happy to see us and wanted as much attention as he could get.

As I was playing with a group of kids it was music to my ears to hear him laugh and enjoy himself.

-Amanda Nygaard

the Pursuit

It was September 15th, 2010.  I was packed and ready to jump on a plane to Jeremie, Haiti on a two week trip; a two week trip that would change my life forever. I remember being told that I would be on the trash team. It was an instant disappointment, though in the back of my mind I knew that the Lord had something to show me, something to reveal through this small act of service. "But God, Trash?!?"

One of the places that we would often visit was called "The Point." It was heart wrenching to see the children running into this filthy water. Some of them were bathing, some drinking, some just trying to catch a break from the extreme humidity. Imagine a child running in to our sewage system to bathe.

In the midst of the heat, I was drenched in sweat, eager to end this day of service... until I saw him.  I saw the little boy that I had been crazy about since day 1.  This nameless, naked child was running to me, dodging anything and everything in his path to pursue me.  As soon as he reached me, I was quick to pick up his small body and pull him in for a tight hug. This "hug" concept must have still been new to him. His limbs were still tentative to succumb to the love I wanted to so badly to show him: the love of Jesus through this small act. 

Look into his eyes. Do you see the  pain I see? Do you see loneliness? Do you see the emptiness?

This nameless boy has prompted an urgency in my heart, an urgent need to reveal the LOVE of JESUS to the lost in Jeremie, Haiti.

It has not been the easiest road thus far. Though, my fears and insecurites have subsided for the sake of answering the call of my Father. And, now, just as this nameless boy had run into my arms, I am running into the arms of my Father. I am running full speed, past and around anything that may get in my way. I am in pursuit of this LOVE and opportunity to give it back.

Coming Soon!

Hi everyone! Stay tuned for some sweet news on the progress that my team and I have made during this season of prep. I am so thrilled that you have chosen to come alongside us to witness a great work to be done.

love.